1) And you’re here because…
You deigned to grace your tween/teen’s birthday party with your offensive adult presence. How. Dare. You. You’ve only given her life, put a roof over her head, and supported this celebration with equal amounts spirit and cold hard cash. You monster.
Solution: Help your child plan some age-appropriate activities. You can be involved in helping him or her organize the activities at the party, giving your tween/teen space with friends while still playing an active role.
2) "That’s not what I wanted!"
You didn’t get the right princess pony/skateboarding polar bear/under the sea themed invitations/cake/favor bags. They don’t look right. Or at least they don’t look like whatever it was your kid described briefly in that hurried moment he or she bailed out of your still-moving vehicle at carpool drop off a few weeks ago. Don’t you know how to read minds?
Solution: If you have a picky party planner, give them tasks to help with, such as picking between two invitation designs, or deciding which lip balm or stickers go in the favor bags.
3) You Danced.
Did you dance?
At your tween/teen’s birthday party?
In front of all the friends?
Did your child tell/beg/insinuate/yell at you to stop?
We’ll leave you to your thoughts.
Solution: Your child got a lot of money for their birthday and has paid us to tell you the solution: DON’T DANCE.
4) Candy Lame
You painstakingly researched candy buffets. For weeks you’ve ogled Pinterest photos of perfectly placed swirly sticks, rock candy, cupcakes, and colorful treats of all sorts filling apothecary jars larger than your head. You can do this! You know you can!
Too bad you "guesstimated" the amount of candy needed and now only half the jars of carefully color-coordinated treats are filled.
Solution: Once you select your glassware, use Jelly Belly’s free Candy Calculator to figure out exactly how much candy you’re going to need for your epic treat bar.